


sometimes i wish you'd have died.

by puppymin



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Heavy Angst, M/M, Self Harm, Suicide, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-05-19 19:19:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14879669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puppymin/pseuds/puppymin
Summary: mingyu jolted as he heard the sound. suddenly there were tears rolling down his pale cheeks. mingyu had just lost his ex-best friend.





	sometimes i wish you'd have died.

minghao was tired. of everything. nothing was working out for him anymore. he’d given up at this point. all his relationships had been fucked over, his group had basically disbanded at this point, it just wasn’t official yet. he didn’t want to be alive. everything was a weight on his shoulders, way too heavy for him to carry. so here he was, lying in the tub, holding a razor to his wrist. he was scared. crying, shaking, scared of dying. but he didn’t wanna be alive at all, he couldn’t take it anymore. it was all just too much. he held the razor to his wrist, lightly pressing down against the skin as he watched tiny drops of blood roll down into the, now cold, water. it hurt. it hurt so much. but it hurt less than when mingyu had said he didn’t want anything to do with him. this was nothing compared to when he was sobbing uncontrollably on the floor as mingyu told him to “go to hell”. his best friend, the most important person to him, didn’t want him anymore. the feelings of love, adoration and care were no longer mutual. oh god how he wished they were. he loved mingyu so damn much. he felt absolutely heartbroken and miserable. minghao pressed harder down on his wrist, whimpering at the burning sensation. warm teardrops rolled down his cheeks as he kept cutting open wounds on his wrist, slowly waiting for his death. all colour had left his now pale face, and his lips were trembling. as the walls and everything around him slowly faded into black, he heard the door open. it was mingyu, his best friend. mingyu stopped in his tracks, shocked at the scene. in front of him was a clothed, lifeless minghao, bathing in his own blood. mingyu hurried over to the tub, grabbing minghao by the shoulders and shaking him. “minghao, wake up!” he yelled. he was anxious. this wasn’t good, he thought. this couldn’t happen. mingyu couldn’t lose his best friend. he hurried and called an ambulance, crying whilst holding poor, cold minghao. _______________________________

mingyu and minghao sat next to each other on the couch, letting whatever movie was on the tv play. it had been about a month since minghao had tried to take his own life. if it hadn’t been for mingyu, minghao wouldn’t be alive right now. he couldn’t tell if he was thankful that mingyu saved him, or whether he wanted to punch him for it. he’d wanted to die, so why save him? what was the point? minghao felt anxious every time he was around mingyu. he never properly thanked him for saving his life, but honestly he didn’t quite want to either. minghao opened his mouth to speak, but quickly closed it again. mingyu noticed. “did you wanna say something?” he asked, watching the younger boy nervously fiddle with his thumbs. no, minghao thought. he doesn’t wanna hear it, he continued in his thoughts. minghao stumbled over his words a few times, the tremor evident in his voice. “i-i just wanted to, um, th-thank you, for sa-saving me…” he said quietly. he was scared of how mingyu would react. all he got was a _‘_ no problem’ from mingyu. was that it? was that really all he had to say? minghao could have fucking died and he just thanked mingyu for saving him, but all minghao got was a _‘no problem’_. not fair, minghao thought. not fair at all. mingyu could’ve lost his best friend, but he seemed as if he couldn’t care less. did minghao really mean that little to him? minghao was suddenly upset, and mingyu could definitely tell. “why are you suddenly so angry?” he asked. to be honest, mingyu didn’t care about minghao’s feelings anymore. all those feelings mingyu held for minghao, were gone. withered. destroyed. minghao noticed. he noticed how cold mingyu’s eyes were whenever he looked at him. he knew, of course he fucking knew. it’d been going on for months now. it was around the time that he noticed it, that minghao gave up on taking care of himself. he didn’t wanna live anymore. he could tell his best friend didn’t care about him. minghao looked down at his wrists that he’d subconsciously been scratching at. “i-it just seems like you don’t really care anymore.” he squeezed out through his dry, chapped lips. “and? why do you have to be such a fucking bother? you get upset over the smallest things, can you just shut up already!” mingyu shouted at him, causing the smaller boy to jump in his seat. mingyu was standing up now. “minghao.” mingyu said calmly, looking him dead in the eye. “sometimes, i wish you’d have died.” those 6 words caused minghao to lose all will to live, lose all will to keep trying. “i’m sorry that i’m such a bother to you and everyone else around me,” minghao said quietly— but loud enough for mingyu to hear— over and over like a mantra. when did minghao stand up? minghao held a knife to his throat. where’d he get the knife from? why was there blood spilling out from minghao’s throat? why didn’t mingyu do anything? it’s simple. he couldn’t. everything happened way too quickly. minghao was dying in front of mingyu’s very own eyes, and there was not a single thing he could do about it. they weren’t best friends anymore. they were ex best friends. there was no longer a ‘us’ or ‘we’, only a ‘you’ and a ‘me’. minghao fell to the ground with a dull thud. mingyu jolted as he heard the sound. suddenly there were tears rolling down his pale cheeks. mingyu had just lost his ex-best friend.

**Author's Note:**

> this prolly isn't tht good but i hope u enjoyed it anyway hfhesh  
> i'll mainly be posting angst and fluff,, but prolly mostly angst since tht's what i feel most confident with and what i personally feel like i'm best at so  
> please go easy on me ;;  
> thnk u for reading this !!


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